Week 11 - Rewrite

Baltimore, MD -- 11/18/07.

Where were you when you first heard that Phil Dawson’s last-second game-tying field goal was good?

In your car? (Judging by the empty seats in the upper deck during OT, I’m guessing that at least 10,000 of you fall into this category.) In the locker room? (Where most of the Ravens and some of the coaches sat, taking off their cleats and taking a deep breath after seemingly surviving a scintillating game.) In a corporate suite? (Where I can only assume Hollywood stars Jimmy Fallon and Kevin Connelly were watching as they were in town for the filming of “He's Just Not That Into You” and were VIP guests of the team – more on them later.)

Me? I was running across the field following this week’s Wired Raven, Mark Clayton, through his congratulatory tour of former teammates when Derek Anderson came up to us to tell Clayton that the game wasn’t over – the field goal was good. At first we laughed at his unbridled optimism. Okay Derek, I bet they’re going to make us play overtime too. Good one!

As it turns out, Derek Anderson sucks as a comedian. His exuberance was no joke. And after a 10-minute emotional roller coaster that took all of the energy and some of the fans out of M&T Bank Stadium, the game was back on. The game was back on despite the SmartVision boards reading, “Final Score: Baltimore 30, Cleveland 27”. The game was back on despite the fact that members of both teams had already conducted their post-game prayer session at mid-field. The game was back on despite the impassioned pleas from the men in purple – both Adam Terry and Willis McGahee were standing near me when the refs made the fateful ruling and both were convinced that the game was still over. And who could blame them; technically the game had already come to an end. I didn’t want to be the one to tell them they were wrong so I backed away slowly and let the shower of boos from the stands tell the story.

Throughout the course of overtime a pit in my stomach began to grow. By the time Dawson knocked through the winning field goal, I not only felt feverish, but I couldn’t bring myself to words (Lauryn can confirm). Only once before had I experienced such a devastating loss and when I say experience, I mean as a fan, not as an actual member of a team – professionals tend to deal with these things better, they are, after all, professionals. I, on the other hand, was 13 at the time and other than getting a girl in homeroom to look at you, not much else matters to an 8th grade boy. As previously mentioned in the blog, I was a fan of the Dallas Cowboys at the time and according to tradition, the ‘Boys play on Thanksgiving each year, which conveniently allowed the rest of my family to bare witness to my teenage fanaticism. One particular game galvanized my reputation and resembled the turn of events that took place yesterday.












I am talking, of course, of the Leon Lett Game in which the Miami Dolphins attempted a game winning field goal, had it blocked, and were then given a second chance at victory after The Big Cat attempted to recover the ball, only to slip in the snow and kick it forward, allowing Miami to recover, re-kick and rewrite history. . Now for the worst part, for some reason I felt that I should take my frustration out, in front of my family no less, on my Aunt’s furniture. Adrenaline took control of my foot as I proceeded to kick the couch I had been sitting on, before banishing myself to another part of the house. Not my finest moment, but despite 14 years of supposed maturation, I could have done some serious sofa damage on Sunday had their been a couch in the vicinity.

Before I continue down this path of misery - I do apologize, but seriously, what would you write about - let me return to happier times. They weren’t that long ago. In fact, they were only a few minutes before the Dawson daggers described above.















As I mentioned, Baltimore played host to Hollywood with Fallon (of Saturday Night Live fame) and Connelly (the “E” in Entourage) roaming the sidelines before the game. In person, they are about what you would expect, only shorter. In fact I ran past Connelly while carrying my tripod and had trouble placing his face as I continued my sprint. It took a few moments, but when I finally figured out who it was, Laura Lewis, another one of our RaveTV crewmembers, made sure to point out Fallon standing right behind him. They were easy to miss and despite Lauryn staring at the stars a few seconds longer than I’d like, I was able to exploit one advantage over the two actors.


















Kevin Connelly (short guy, black coat) looks on as Antwan Barnes gets ready for the game

Jeff and I took our places on the field during the pre-game introductions to get a shot of Clayton emerging from the tunnel. The Ravens were introduced as a team and all 53 players, not to mention the cheerleaders, smoke and fire whizzed by our position as we watched it all unfold from the best seats in the house. Even better than the sidelines, where Kevin and Jimmy had to stand behind the yellow rope. Of course they get to stand behind their fair share of velvet ropes back west, but for the moment, it felt good to be a Raven.

The game itself was a scoring festival in comparison to previous weeks, with a fourth quarter that should still be recognized as nothing short of remarkable. Trailing by thirteen, having scored just one offensive touchdown all day, it was hard to imagine that we would witness a comeback by Boller and the boys. We were wrong. Kyle completed passes to just about everyone on the team over the course of the next 15 minutes, including a touchdown toss to Devard Darling to tie the game at 27. Jeff and I were camped out in the end zone for most of the period and not only saw Darling’s dazzling catch, but we could have caught Matt Stover’s go-ahead field goal with less than 30 seconds left. The crowd was in a frenzy after we took the lead and I even saw our mascot, Poe, jump from the field into the stands (no easy feat in that costume) to celebrate with the feathered faithful. It was a joyous time aboard the SS Raven, unfortunately, an iceberg was looming.

After Devin Hester, err, Joshua Cribbs returned the kickoff to near mid-field, Derek Anderson proceeded to lead the Browns to the 34-yard line to set up a field goal attempt that has already earned Phil Dawson the nickname, Pinball Wizard, and the play itself, The Immaculate Deflection or if you prefer, Dawson-Gate. The ball hit the upright, followed by what appeared to be the crossbar, but in actuality was the support bar that connects the crossbar to the ground, before bouncing straight in the air and landing in front of the goal posts. The Ravens sprinted on to the field, seemingly claiming victory for the first time in more than a month. Even the broadcasting crew (i.e. me) leaped victoriously to celebrate the salvation of our season. But a strange thing happened on the way to the prayer circle, and the rest, as they say, is history. History that’s been rewritten.













History being rewritten...

Week 10 - Broken

The saying goes, “If it ain’t broke, don't fix it.” But what if it is broke?

As an official homeowner for 4 full months, I've had to learn to deal with many of these daily dilemmas. Take this past Saturday, my first weekend at home in more than a month. I fixed a towel rack, a vacuum, a smoke detector and a light bulb. Well I guess you don't actually fix a light bulb, you replace it, but I was rather proud of my man-of-the-house accomplishments and technically, the light wasn’t working (i.e broken) and I took care of it (i.e. fixed it). In any case, the ability to deal with such problems leads me to Sunday’s game and what used to be the AFC North Champion Baltimore Ravens.

The team appears to be broken. Not mentally, not yet at least, but for some reason they just don't seem to be working right. Fumbles, false starts and just plain ugly football have left the team winless since mid-October. Brian Billick, in his press conference following the game, admitted that he was frustrated. Probably because he can’t seem to figure out who broke his 13-3 team from 2006. It was working just fine, that is until the clock struck 2007.

It's not the batteries, as Ray Lewis' motor never seems to stop. It's not the parts, as Pro Bowlers fill the roster on both sides of the ball. And as far as I know, no one has been recalled back to the plant, or in this case, the “U”. So what could it be? According to this week's Wired Raven, Gary Stills, "There's a dark cloud hanging over us."

Although Stills can’t be serious, it would explain a lot. Take, for instance, the pre-game flyover. The C-130J cargo-style planes (I know, usually they’re fighter jets, but Navy apparently used up the entire fleet during their 74 point explosion at North Texas) seemed to cautiously creep along from one side of the stadium to the other, as if they were trying to avoid a storm cloud hanging overhead. The pilots may have also been aware that the stage was not solely theirs on Sunday as a live video feed from Iraq was transmitted into the stadium just moments before kickoff. A Maryland Army National Guard unit that call themselves “Task Force Ravens” pre-empted the singing of the national anthem and then introduced the Ravens, with Derrick Mason carrying the American flag as the lead horse leaving the stable. Some of the soldiers on screen gave shout outs to specific sections of the stands before giving one final salute as the slightly less important battle in Baltimore began.

It’s hard to put into words what followed, but a blogger’s got to do what a blogger’s got to do. So here it goes (courtesy of Thesaurus.com): burst, busted, collapsed, cracked, crippled, crumbled, crushed, damaged, defective, demolished, disintegrated, dismembered, fractured, fragmentary, fragmented, hurt, injured, mangled, mutilated, pulverized, rent, riven, ruptured, separated, severed, shattered, shivered, shredded, slivered, smashed, split. Maybe I should have just stuck with ‘broken’, although ‘riven’ is new to my vocabulary and its similarity to the name of our feathered friends could be useful in the future. But back to being broken.

On a third and goal just before halftime, Steve McNair tried to find Todd Heap in the end zone for a go ahead touchdown. Unfortunately the ball was tipped and caught by a Bengal instead. Under similar circumstances, the same thing happened on opening night when Kyle Boller tried to find Heap for a score but was awarded an INT when a Cincinnati defender wound up with a deflected pass. Well, at least we’ve pinpointed the problem. Although the fortuitous bounce did seem to break the spirit of the sold-out crowd and the scant few following the game from the sidelines. (A clear indication of where the Ravens rank in the NFL was that the media presence on the field seemed to be limited to one NFL Films cameraman and the CBS crew covering the game, although they only lasted into the third quarter – see below.)

The team wasn’t the only defective part on the field on Sunday. Apparently unwilling to continue recording sub-standard football, the camera cart that drives along the sidelines broke down near the south end zone in the third quarter. The crew tried to fix it and at one point I actually saw them taking a rubber hammer to the side of the cart. Now I’m still limited to towel racks and light bulbs, but that can’t work, could it? Maybe if there was a dent that they were trying to bang out, but when a vehicle ceases the ability to move, a rubber hammer cannot be the answer. It was unfortunate for the network, because all of the action during the next 15 minutes seemed to take place on the other side of the field.

Four fumbles followed by four field goals without ever crossing the fifty seemed to put the game out of reach. At that point, the crowd began showing signs that they too were shattered, or maybe shivered, perhaps riven? Okay, that was forced, but the hometown fans did begin to boo during the second half. After being on the road for the last two games, we’ve become used to the boo birds, but I didn’t realize they had flown in for the weekend. A cheer did rise up from those still left in the building when Kyle Boller hit Mark Clayton for a 48-yard pass late in the fourth quarter. Thus proving that the way to fix the quarterback, just like a light bulb, is to replace rather than repair. Okay, that’s a bit of a stretch as Kyle added an interception of his own to the six total turnovers, but his near-scoring strike at least seemed to fix the fans for a moment.

After the game came to a close, the press conference was eerily silent as even the microphones at the podium appeared to be, well, broken. Billick’s words to the press were barely audible and none of the Ravens players even made it into the interview room. So where does that leave us? How do we fix this? What do we do now, Trip?! (Meatballs reference for those scrolling back up looking to see who ‘Trip’ was.)

The answer isn’t easy. It’s not as simple as a change of batteries. There are no replacement parts available. Will Ferrell has moved on to basketball season (see below). And I’m pretty sure the rubber hammer won’t work on these guys. All we can do to salvage the season is reboot, regroup and return to the stadium next Sunday for a date with Derek Anderson and the Cleveland Browns. The season is on the line; it's time to get sweaty (again, see below); it’s time to go for broke.

Week 9 – Coming Home

Pittsburgh, PA -- 11/5/07.

Crab cakes. Coburn’s. My very own couch. These are the things I covet after spending close to five days on the road in four cities and two time zones (not to mention daylight savings throwing me completely off kilter somewhere near the Alabama/Georgia border). So thankfully, despite losing all but my wallet on Monday Night Football, I’m finally coming home.

My football double-dip began in Auburn, Ala. as Exit10, in order to promote rail-safety for our client, CSX, traveled to SEC country and the most charming college town in the country. It was homecoming weekend for the Tigers and the 48 hours spent in the grasp of Southern hospitality helped confirm a story in the November issue of Men’s Journal, as they listed 64 reasons we still love sports. The 65th entry could read something like this:

65. College football in the Southeast. Fans show up days in advance (thanks to all that training on the NASCAR circuit) and line the campus parking lots with RV’s and officially licensed tailgate tools. Entire families share in the joy of not just winning, but their excitement seems to rely solely on the opportunity to attend a game. The rivalries, however, are as real as they come. Case in point – during Saturday Night’s LSU-Alabama game, all of the patrons at the Mellow Mushroom (the best little college eatery in the East) kept their hands on their pies and their eyes on the TV’s as they cheered for their Tiger brethren (also a rival most weekends) to take out their in-state siblings from Tuscaloosa. And don’t forget about the traditions. I’m sure all schools have some sort of celebratory song and dance, but the orange and blue do their best imitation of their color counterparts in Syracuse and ‘make it snow’ at Toomers Square after every victory. The act of toilet-papering the trees, bushes and buildings only adds to the feeling that you are indeed inside some sort of sports wonderland.















Our time in the Dixie State concluded Sunday morning and my co-workers and I parted ways as they flew home to Baltimore while I boarded a flight to Pittsburgh. Upon arrival, my euphoria immediately began to deflate. Pittsburgh is gray and cold – not a surprise I suppose for a Steel City – and the warm feelings I had for football faded as soon as I reached baggage claim. A life-size Franco Harris figurine greeted me at the door and Steelers fans flanked in gold and black seemed to be eyeing me up from all angles (the only fleece I brought was obviously purple).

After waiting for the rest of the Ravens and the RaveTV crew to arrive, Lauryn and I looked to find some fine dining downtown. You would think it would be a tough task to in such a blue-collar corner of Pennsylvania. However, the tasting menu alone at our eventual restaurant choice, Eleven, was enough to make you mistake the three rivers for the River Seine. Smoked salmon puree, ahi tuna salads, caramel fudge squares – and those were just the compliments of the chef. Of course as soon as we walked back into the night we were reminded of our whereabouts as an arctic blast greeting us at the door. When we arrived back at the hotel for one last drink, Steeler Country had already started a tab and were serenading Ravens GM, Ozzie Newsome, with a catchy little tune that goes something like this, “Here we go Steelers. Here we go.” Not quite War Eagle, but still effective in confined spaces.

Despite a police escort on Monday night, the busses to the stadium got stuck in traffic. It was as if all of Pittsburgh decided to delay the Ravens from getting to Heinz Field so they announced on the radio for all vehicles to clog the interstate just as we were making our way across the river. As we waited to move, I was talking to MASN’s Amber Theoharris and we both had the same hopeful thought - we saw a patch of clear skies ahead and wondered (hoped) that it was a sign of better weather to come as the rain was already knocking on the roof. We were both proven to be poor meteorologists as the precipitation only intensified in the hours leading up to kickoff.

As we prepared the camera equipment in the hallway adjacent to the Steelers locker room, we were given a sneak preview of the evening’s festivities. The Steelers were honoring their All-Franchise Team to commemorate their 75th Anniversary and former stars such as Franco Harris, Joe Greene and Jerome Bettis lingered near our staging area. Eventually the entire honorary team would walk by and the chill in the air was no longer the effect of the dropping barometric pressure, rather, the pressure of playing under the gaze of these giants of the game.

The action continued to unfold under the safety of the underground concourse as the stadium issued a warning to stay out of the stands as a lightning storm passed. With the added electricity in the air, and the field still covered by a tarp, players began to warm up inside with Mark Clayton catching passes from special teams coach John Fassell before Ben Roethlisberger practiced his throws for the ESPN crew to cover. Sal Paolantonio was on hand for the Worldwide Leader and with a television tuned to the pre-game broadcast we received word from Sal Pal that Todd Heap was not going to be active. Paolantonio also revealed that the Ravens team captains for the game would not include Ray Lewis, rather, the trio of young starting defensive backs would be given the honor as David Pittman, Corey Ivy and Derrick Martin walked to mid-field for the coin-flip. Unfortunately, this gesture hurt my chances at a second straight trip to the fifty as we had Ray Lewis wired for the evening, but thankfully for us and all of Ravens Nation, he gave us plenty to work with.














Photo courtesy of BaltimoreRavens.com

We were not the only ones zeroing in on No. 52 as both ESPN and NFL Films crews converged on Ray after the traditional team huddle. During the warm-up session, Ray seemed to be auditioning for a role in the next season of Flight of the Concords as he displayed such dance moves as The Eagle (flapping his arms a la TO on Sunday Night Football in Philly), The Conductor (a variation on The Eagle, but with arms bent at the elbows as if to lead a symphony orchestra), and The Stover (an inexplicable display of emotion involving a powerful kick of the ground and the launching of dirt below his feet).

After the pre-game stretch was complete, our cameraman for the night, Tim Matkosky, and I headed to the tunnel to track Lewis into the locker room. Tim was replacing Coffeeonthe50 regular Jeff Atkinson who was on location in China with Cal Ripken Jr., spreading baseball to a billion Chinese. Back in Pittsburgh, Tim and I back peddled the length of the field as the locker rooms were located well beyond the tunnel entrance. On our journey we were able to catch Ray give encouraging words to fellow linebackers, to Willis McGahee, and as always, to himself in an emotional display of self-motivation.

Unfortunately, no amount of emotion was going to stop neither the Steelers nor the sleeting rain. As kickoff approached, the wind and wet seemed to pick up steam and for a brief moment, became hardened hail just as Pittsburgh’s first possession was starting. Hail? Oh Really?!?! What else could possibly go wrong? Oh wait, there’s more.

I tried covering Tim up as best I could but I can’t imagine his shot was very good. I have to believe it would be similar to being sprayed by a fire hose and trying to see who was firing at you. The rain wasn’t kind to the crew or the Ravens, who fumbled three times in the first half and gave the Steelers an insurmountable lead before the first quarter came to an end. As one Steelers fan in the crowd concluded at the first two-minute warning, “Thanks Billick. Now I can get out of the rain and go home after halftime.”

Despite the 35 points posted by Pittsburgh in the first 30 minutes, the real stars of the night were to be introduced in between quarters. The All-Franchise team members returned home as heroes and were announced one-by-one. Each player was greeted with a terrible towel salute, except for Joey Porter, who seemed to receive a mixed reaction after being dismissed from the team last spring. The loudest ovation was for four-time Super Bowl quarterback, Terry Bradshaw, who must have received some solace despite Big Ben passing him on a few franchise lists by the end of the night.

The game appeared out of reach in the second half, but the ugliness continued. Players were covered in mud, jerseys were ripped and the only heat left in the building was on the field as you got the sense that every play could end up in a personal foul on either team. The carnage made me long for a seat on the couch at my friend’s house where I typically spend Monday Nights and partake in a little tradition of our own called power hour. I wont get into the details, but lets just say it makes games like this a little easier to swallow.
















Tim, Lauryn and Jay (his sign reads "Rain Man") bundle up for the game

As the rain turned to an annoying mist, the wind stepped up its efforts to knife through the soaked fleece I was wearing. Unfortunately I hadn’t packed any rain gear as I prepared for the road trip way back on Thursday. My travels took me to homecoming in Auburn and the return home to Pittsburgh for some of the greatest men to ever play the game. But after playing just once in Baltimore over the course of six weeks, not to mention becoming quite adept at making coffee using those hotel room single serve coffee makers, I find myself thankful for my neighborhood Starbucks, a seat on my couch and the comforts of home.

Immaculate Lives Here

Before I could even make it out of the airport in Pittsburgh I was greeted with a reminder of the storied Steeler tradition. Borrowing from the ESPN College Gameday campaign, "Immaculate Lives Here", and Harris is scheduled to be on hand tonight, along with more than a dozen All-Franchise Team members. It should be a memorable night in Blitzburgh, we also have Ray Wired, so be sure to look out for a new post tomorrow, hopefully with another Emmitt sighting.

Name Calling

Forget Manny, I’m sick of Papelbon being Papelbon; Brady being Brady; Matt Ryan being Brady; and I’m already tired of KG being, well, KG circa 1994 and his senior year at Farragut Career Academy. How the hell did this happen? When did Boston become Mecca for US sports? Did Ben Affleck sell his soul? Is this retribution for John Kerry and Michael Dukakis? Tea Party Part Deux? Seriously, what is going on in chowda-town?! Actually, I rather not know. I just saw a few clips of celebratory Sox fans in the streets of Boston and my heartburn just made its way past the Prilosec.


Matt Ryan does his best Tom Brady impression

This is truly a landmark day for Boston sports. I can only imagine the internal struggle amongst Halloween goers in Beantown – what jersey do you wear come Wednesday? And how about the sports editor at The Globe. Cleary the Sox are the lead story on Monday, but Colts Week began at about 7:15 PM Sunday afternoon – at what point does the cover story switch back to the Pats? Oh yea, the NBA season tips-off this week. Can you imagine if Garnett, Pierce and Allen drop 30 points-a-piece on the Wiz this Friday? Bill Simmons’ computer might start smoking.

Okay, enough venting. I’m man enough to admit that the source of this script is pure jealousy. I grew up in the New Jersey Metro and New York sports have always been a dominant force on the national stage. But even when the Knicks and Rangers swapped game seven stories in 1994, only one team came out with a title and both were upstaged by OJ. A-Rod did his best to pull a White Ford Bronco this afternoon by announcing that he was opting out of his contract, but the sad part is that Red Sox Nation will probably opt for World Series MVP Mike Lowell instead – and who could blame them? I’d choose a head first slide over a hand first slap any day.














So tonight I watch in awe of all that you’ve been able to accomplish this fall. Hopefully by the time you roll into Baltimore December 3rd, your luck, and all the beer in Boston will have run out. But one thing is for sure, even though Cheers closed its doors more than a decade ago, everyone now knows your name (AD). And they’re sick of it.

Week 7 - Heads or Tails

Buffalo, NY - 10/21/07.

Something didn’t feel right.

Maybe it was the windy weather we flew through on our way north to Buffalo. Maybe it was the fact that Canadian Football was on TV in the hotel room. Maybe it was the dozen wings I ate Saturday night (much more on that in a moment). Maybe it was the half dozen Labatt Blue’s I used to wash away the spice. Or maybe it was the fact that the temperature in Western New York felt more like West Palm Beach at kickoff (66 and sunny.) No matter the cause, the effect took the form of a loss that left the entire cast and crew feeling flat.

For starters, our takeoff took us into some gusts that gave everyone on the plane a moment of pause. Normally the turbulence comes and goes without much concern from the passengers, although Lauryn still hasn’t mastered the art of flying. On Saturday, however, just about everyone on board had the USC flight fresh in their minds and after we took a few dips and dives somewhere over Eastern PA, the casual conversations and commotion stopped as the plane went silent. To calm our nerves, the pilot came on the PA system and informed us all that we were through the worst of it. He didn’t know what lay ahead on Sunday.

First came Saturday night though and another culinary adventure for the RaveTV crew, Lauryn and I. The only goal of the night in B-Lo (does anyone really call it that?) was to get some authentic Buffalo wings in the birthplace of, well, little chicken parts marinated in spice. The crew followed the crowd to The Anchor Bar, which is said to have served the first Buffalo-style chicken wing. It’s hard to argue considering their street sign states that they’ve served 246.8 million of those little suckers. And with an average of 6 wings/chicken (according to our waitress), that’s like 80 million chickens. How does PETA not picket this city on a daily basis?

In any case, after getting slapped in the face by the smell of buffalo sauce when we walked in the door, we added another 60 to the grand total by inhaling the better part of 5 dozen legs, wings, and maybe even some heads and tails – its hard to tell under all that flavor. And although I would classify the cuisine as finger lickin’ good, they weren’t finger lickin’ great. I’d go with Old Bay Style any day, and I’m from New Jersey. (I recommend Coburn’s, Della Rose’s and Pickles if you’re in the mood.)

The night continued to the not-so-famous Chippewa Street and the bars of Buffalo. Apparently you can drink till 4AM in this part of New York and the 10 o’clock crowd paled in comparison to the mob scene at The Anchor Bar. We grabbed a few drinks, cringed at the twelve runs the Red Sox scored on Cleveland, and headed back to the hotel, unfortunately without trying another Bison City staple – chicken finger sandwiches. Speaking of cringing at the Red Sox, what is Kevin Millar doing throwing out the first pitch of Game 7? Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse for the Orioles…














Game day got off to a glorious start. No clouds. 66 degrees. A slight breeze. Lots of sun. Not what you’d expect so close to the Canadian border just 10 days shy of Halloween. The star of the day, and our Wired Raven this week, was Willis McGahee who was returning to face his old team and his former fans. The paparazzi were out in full force as every camera in Ralph Wilson Stadium awaited his first steps on to the field. As we filmed him walking down the tunnel a chorus of cheers and jeers greeted both the current and former #23. Bills jerseys, Ravens jerseys and even two fans that decided to go sans jersey, but still show their support for McGahee, filled the bench-style bleachers (the stadium is a little outdated).














The pre-game activities would prove to be the high point of the day as Brian Billick announced to the locker room that the captains for the game would be the trio from “The U” – Ray, Ed, and as Coach quipped, McGillis. When I heard that Willis was going to be walking out for the coin toss, I thought it was great news for the Wired crew. Little did I know (which, as Dustin Hoffman explains in one of the most underrated Will Ferrell movies, Stranger Than Fiction, means that there is an actual plot building) it would also result in a trip to mid-field for this mild mannered blogger.

Jeff Atkinson, RaveTV’s Director of Photography, waved for me to join him on the field as he finished filming the team stand at attention for the National Anthem. I sprinted to his side and watched Lewis, Reed and McGahee dance, sing and eventually form a former-hurricane huddle to allow Ray to thank the other two men in his circle for being with him on this day. The triplets began their walk to the center of the field and Jeff kept his camera rolling. I only wish it had been acceptable for me to take out my camera and grab a shot of the crowd from the center of the football universe. I’ve stood on the 50 before, I’ve even had Coffee on the 50 but never have I experience what its like to take center stage during a game, or in this case, just as the game was about to begin. The stands were full, the crowd was on their feet, the firework smoke had cleared and although no one was staring at me, they were all looking in my direction. I got so caught up in the moment that I didn’t even see if the coin toss landed on heads or tails.














The game itself was hard to swallow. Even harder than that 12th wing, which had gone cold and just sat in a pool of room temperature sauce for ten minutes, as the Ravens found themselves trailing the entire day. McGahee started slowly, but energized by the 12th man, he went on to rack up 114 yards, including a 46-yard touchdown scamper that landed him atop the NFL Rushing Race. Unfortunately the score took more out of him than I care to report – let’s just say you’d be able to tell how many wings he had Saturday Night.

As the time ticked away, Jeff, Lauryn, Larry and I had a front row seat for the fateful snaps that would bring the game to a close. The 9-yard strike to Quinn Sypniewski gave us hope and we looked at each other as if to say, well, maybe we can still escape this place with a win. Of course, that was not to be and instead we escaped to the locker room to pack up as quickly as possible.

I happened to get ready for the flight in what was Jonathan Ogden’s locker just moments earlier (our crew tends to wait until the big boys have left the building). As I changed I noticed a bag on the ground that was simply labeled “XXXXL”. That’s right, four X’s! I’m not sure what the package had contained – gloves, socks, a parachute/t-shirt, but it was a reminder of just how big these guys are. They are mammoth men and superior athletes that line up each week for one common cause – to win. As we approach the bye week, it’s still hard to tell how good this team can be. I’ve seen a dominating defense, an offense that features league leaders in receptions and rushing yards, and unfortunately three road losses that add up to a 4-3 record. Maybe it’s the injuries. Maybe it’s the quarterback carousel. Maybe it’s the lack of home cooked meals. Maybe you know. Me? I can’t make heads or tails of it.

Trash Talk?

I'll give Bills fans credit. They've developed a comprehensive marketing plan with a website, billboard, branded swag and even a jingle (i.e. the rap you hear on the home page) all tied to one single message - the ideal for all successful advertisements. But "Willis is Trash"? To paraphrase Seth and Amy, "Reeaaallllly? Willis is Trash. Really?"

Then explain this:

2007 NFL Rushing Leaders
1. Adrian Peterson
2. LaDanian Tomlinson
3. Ronnie Brown
4. Willis McGahee

Tell me - do 28 other teams in the NFL have garbage lining up in the backfield? I suppose Willie Parker (6th) is pond scum, Larry Johnson (15th) is filth, and the 19th leading rusher in the league (can you say Marshawn Lynch) would be considered rubbish, right?

Listen, I understand if losing 4 Super Bowls still burns. I understand the cold weather and gray sky summer sucks (I spent four years at Syracuse, I know). I can even understand being upset that McGame Breaker got away (Baltimore lost Adalius Thomas this past offseason and he's 6-0 already). But Willis is trash? That's garbage.

Week 6 - Gus Who’s Coming to Dinner

Baltimore, MD - 10/14/07.

“It’s Gus!” exclaimed Ed Reed, who was wired for sound this weekend as the Ravens battled the Rams. “It’s Gus. It’s Gus.”

For those of you who frequent Rehoboth Beach in the summer, Ed wasn’t referring to the fried chicken hole-in-the-wall on the boardwalk. That would be Gus & Gus, where the smell of the fryer, old bay and vinegar combine to form a chemical compound that could probably clean the grease off a bicycle chain. Considering the residue left on your hands after finishing a meal resembles that very same substance, it’s hard to imagine who would eat such sweet slop. Well not that hard, considering my wife, the very same woman who ran the half-marathon on Saturday along with fellow Ravens runners, Reba Koppelman and Jeff Atkinson, is a devout diner.


















Rather, Ed was referring to the St. Louis back-up turned starting quarterback, Gus Frerotte, who had the unfortunate fate of lining up against a hungry Ravens defense on Sunday. It is possible, however, that Gus had the team bus driver take a detour over the Bay Bridge to grab a greasy bucket before the game because the ball just seemed to slip out of his hands all day long.

Of course Ed Reed and Co. were nowhere near the surf and sand of the shore on Sunday morning. As fall settled in on M&T Bank Stadium, some of the team’s recently injured stars got back on the field a few hours early to test out their faulty parts. Todd Heap gave his hamstring a stretch, Samari Rolle zig-zagged across the field, getting his legs back after missing a month, and even Stephen Jackson of the Rams ran some sprints in the end zone before ending his day just before eleven o’clock. One healthy Raven appropriately basking in the morning sun was the California kid, Kyle Boller, who was apparently preparing for his second start of the season. With Steve McNair nowhere to be found, I felt like giving Rachel Nichols a call to let her know who would be lining up under center, at least according to blog reports, but for some reason I couldn’t seem to find her number. Oh that’s right, I don’t actually know her.

My pre-game private screening continued as I waited outside the locker room with Jeff and Lauryn for the team to make their way into the tunnel. Most of the men in purple had already departed before Reed began his walk with his eyes seemingly staring through the concrete at the enemy on the other side. His eye black streaked across his face, reminiscent of The Ultimate Warrior’s paint job, and added an element of fear to the former NFL Defensive Player of the Year. As we kept the camera focused on the fearsome one, I kept Jeff from back-peddling into the referees, who apparently text message one another across the country as one official commented to us that he heard it started to drizzle in Chicago.

Fortunately, there was no rain in the forecast for Baltimore, but the clouds rolled in real quick as the smoke machines filled the tunnel with fake fog. Out of the mist, the Ravens defense was introduced one by one, with players like Ngata, Scott and Suggs all savoring the sounds of the crowd. The last two men to make their entrance were Reed and as always, Ray Lewis. As Reed’s name was called, Ed spun through the smoke and out into daylight, with Jeff trailing closely behind. Unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, I got picked off trying to follow suit as security secured the area just as Nelly welcomed No. 52. Since I was ‘forced’ to stay back, I had a front row seat for the show that never ends as Ray reminded the 71,000+ in attendance that despite the breezy 68 degree temperature at kickoff, its still as hot as ever when Lewis is introduced.

While I was emerging from the residual smoke, I was making a case for receiving residual payments over on ESPN. According to my sources (i.e. fellow fantasy league general managers watching NFL Gameday) I made an appearance in the Ravens road-trip recap from our flight to San Francisco. The piece featured the flight attendants serving fresh pretzels, defensive drills in the hotel ballroom, offensive drills in the parking lot, Derrick Mason as your airplane tour guide and yours truly waiting for an elevator. Not my finest performance, but enough air-time to garner two shout-outs on the Yahoo message boards. Of course one friend missed the elevator scene and thought he saw “Ray-Ray scraping me off the bottom of his shoe” but I suppose it’s just nice to be recognized. And Brock, to answer your question, Lauryn and I sit in the ‘hood, but the nice part of the ‘hood with the KFC and a movie theater.

The game itself got off to a slow start, but just like Reba, Lauryn, and Jeff, whose fastest one-mile split was mile number 13 (8:02), the Ravens picked up steam as the game wore on and wore down Gus. Every time the defense would discuss the upcoming series, Reed’s remarks continued to ring true, “It’s Gus! It’s not Kyle. It’s not McNair. It’s Gus.” Of course Ed respects all his fellow league members, but Frerotte is 36, has played for 7 NFL teams and after four sacks on Sunday resembled a life-size bobblehead doll. (Okay, that reference was a bit of a stretch, but I had to find a way to work in the appearance of a Gerry McNamara Syracuse bobblehead in last week’s episode of The Office. My fictional friends at Dunder Mifflin reside in Scranton, PA, home of the legendary Orangeman. To add to the authenticity of the show, producers propped Dwight’s desk with the doll and my fellow Orange alum and Exit10’er, Dan Rapp, not only spotted No. 3, but immediately reported the finding to the proper authorities)











So what was Reed trying to communicate to his friends? Maybe that the rest of the defense should get ready to receive. Gus threw 5 interceptions, a franchise-record for the Ravens, including one to Reed by the sheer laws of probability considering he is now tied for the NFL lead with 4 INT’s. Of course he wasn’t the only one talking after the play as his teammates teased the talented Mr. Reed with Corey Ivy questioning, “Why did you run so slow?” The Ravens defense is known for not only making big plays, but for getting the ball back and making a run at the end-zone every time they touch it. The peer pressure is real, just ask Kelly Gregg who responded to a question about his fumble return, “Yea, I got so nervous. The wind could have blown me over I was so nervous.” Not likely - Kelly is a stout 6’ 300 lbs – but his tree trunk arms not only allow him to keep his balance on fumble returns, but he can also carry his sons, one on each arm, as he displayed after the game when the lil Gregg’s were brought down on to the field.














After a dominating 22-3 victory over the Rams, the state of Ravens Nation is as strong as Gregg’s guns with purple power on display from Baltimore to Colorado. (I know the Charm City has tried to forget about America’s Pastime lately, but the Rockies have now won 20 out of 21 games and are just one win away from the World Series! The Rockies!! Must be the purple and black uniforms.) Next up next week is a trip north to see if the Anchor Bar’s wings can compete with Gus & Gus’ legs and thighs. Probably more important, we’ll see if Trent Edwards, another back-up signal caller, can imitate the inaccuracy of Gus’s arm. Here’s hoping for a bucket of spicy barbeque and a performance that will make you say, “Gus who?”

Week 5 - Such Great Heights

San Francisco, CA -- 10/7/07.

The Postal Service croon in their Garden State sensation, “Everything looks perfect from far away.” After 48 hours in the Golden State, I’d like them to reconsider. Things are even better up close. I’ll prove it to you.

On Sunday morning I woke up with John Clayton. Scary, I know. And not just because we’ve never shared a drink, let alone a conversation, but because Clayton’s morning report on ESPN can make or break a beautiful day before you even get out of bed. The Hall-of-Fame football writer offers up-to-the-minute insights and injury updates from around the league and as I eased my way into consciousness, I was startled by the news that Derrick Mason could miss the day’s game.

I shot up and asked Lauryn if she had heard anything? I can only assume all Ravens employees receive a text message from Brian Billick whenever a player’s status is in question. (I don’t know what Billick’s Verizon Plan is like, but he should really consider using Twitter instead). Lauryn’s phone sat silent, but I needed more intel. Not only was I concerned about the Ravens’ chances against the 49ers without their #1 wide receiver, but I had Mason starting on my fantasy roster against our league’s defending champion. Could we call Ravens GM, Ozzie Newsome, or even Derrick himself? We did have a phone list but opted to keep our jobs instead and as we headed down to the lobby, there had been nothing new from ESPN or Mr. Clayton. Where were his sources now? Maybe they’ll call me next time because as we prepared to leave for Monster Park I spotted Mason mingling with a few folks, giving his trademark smile (can you trademark a smile?) and practically playing hopscotch on his jaunt to the bus. This just in from Millbrae (our hotel was far away, more on that coming up) Derrick Mason is a go.

Now San Francisco is routinely regarded as one of the most inviting cities to visit in the country. However, our lodging in the Bay expanded the definition of the Area all the way to the airport. The hotel did feature room service and even a list of emergency tips in case of an earthquake, but San Francisco looks the same from Maryland as it does from Millbrae so Lauryn and I decided it was worth the trip into Frisco for the day.

After walking over the freeway to the closest train station, we were on our way. Of course we didn’t know which way we were on. Our planning stopped at dinner reservations so we just followed the crowd and departed the train at the station with the most activity – Powell St. Powell St. is the starting point for the world famous cable cars that still serve the city, however, the line to board the bus with no wheels went on for multiple blocks. It appeared that if we were going to see anything today, we would have to start walking. I grew up outside of New York and walked most of Manhattan in a day, how big could The City be.

On a map, Union Square and the Marina District are 2.8 miles apart. That is if you are looking at a map printed on the backside of a diner placemat. If you happen to have a topographical map in your back pocket, than you would realize that unless you plan on tunneling through Nob Hill, the distance is much more daunting. Of course, when Lauryn and I set out on our self-guided walking tour, we were using the diner variety and two hours later, found ourselves fighting for each step. Our tour took us through Russian Hill, Nob Hill, and I have to imagine at least part of Mount Rainer. Fortunately San Francisco might be one of the most picturesque places on earth so each climb around a corner brought with it an incredible view of the bay and at least one of the famed bridges. When we finally began our descent, we landed in a vat of Chocolate, at least it smelled that way when you closed your eyes, as we made our way to Ghirardelli Square, where they still give out free pieces of their cocoa.

I was saving myself for lunch, however, as we waited to be seated at a hole-in-the-wall seafood spot I found on CitySearch. Not only did they offer ahi-tuna tacos and poke tuna topped salads, but it was right around the corner from Lauryn’s favorite girly store, Two Skirts. The prices kept me pacing outside, but as I spent time on the sidewalk I noticed a ground swell of people heading down to the waterfront. Either a whale was beached or we had stumbled upon something to do for the afternoon.










When the members of U2 sit down to write a song, do they think to themselves, “This would be great in concert,” or “This would be cool in an iPod commercial,” or “This would be perfect for the closing credits of the Olympics.” I have to imagine at some point all of these thoughts enter their creative consciousness, however, one idea I doubt receives much discussion is, “This song would be ideal for an Air Show. Especially an Air Show performed on a rare cloudless day in San Francisco, USA (they write their songs in Ireland, right?).”

Regardless of U2’s intentions, the Blue Angels of the U.S. Navy and the Lukin’s of Baltimore were treated to “A Beautiful Day” on a beautiful day along the banks of the San Francisco Bay. Lauryn and I didn’t plan on taking part in the Fleet Week festivities, but when six fighter jets fly by at more than 400 mph, you tend to take notice. The aerial event drew thousands of on-lookers who were not only treated to some high-flying trickery, but color commentary from an announcer, comments from the pilots themselves and a soundtrack in between sound barrier breaks. They probably could have just put the Kenny Loggins classic form Top Gun on repeat and been done with it, but the DJ dipped into some more recent tracks and U2’s timely tune stood out on what truly was a beautiful day. Don DiRaddo unfortunately did not see the show up close, but he did see the planes land back at the hotel, apparently an advantage of staying near the airport. I think he would admit that watching them with the Golden Gate Bridge in the background was probably a little more rewarding. No worries Don, I promised a YouTube clip and you got one:

After Lauryn agreed to the ridiculous idea of returning to the hotel to change for dinner, we took a cab back to the edge of the Embarcadero to dine at one of the most recommended restaurants in town, Boulevard. Any restaurant that has their own cookbook is probably worth trying and just the smell of the sauces was enough to satisfy our appetites. Well not really, fortunately the sauces come with food and we dined on scallops, crab-stuffed calamari, halibut, pork loin in peach chutney, and some sort of fancy s’more that cost $10 and was worth even more. As if they knew a blogger was in attendance, as soon as we finished our meal, a firework show broke out over the Bay. You can’t get that in a cookbook, another victory for up close viewing.











Unfortunately there were not many fireworks on the field during the Ravens 9-7 victory over the 49ers, but there was some serious action along the sidelines. Our wired Raven this week was Mike Flynn. Mike Flynn plays center, so we weren’t expecting any difficulties in tracking his movements. There were difficulties in tracking his sound though as the frequency carrying his feed had some severe interference. Don had to make a few trips up to the Sling Box Press Box – yes, they have a sponsor for their press box – and when he finally found a frequency that worked, we had to figure out a way to change the signal at the source (i.e. taped under Mike Flynn’s shoulder pads). Not so easy during the middle of the second quarter of a game, but technology stepped in and saved the show. For the first time in RaveTV history (I think, who has such records) we had a remote control on hand that sends out a sound signal to talk to the receiver and tell it what to do. I won’t use a wife joke here, but maybe a boss joke. No wait, that’s the same thing. Anyways, we got close to Flynn and fired away at the pads. We all looked over at Jeff who gave use the thumbs up. We were out of the Danger Zone (get it, Top Gun reference).

As luck would have it, as soon as the mic was mastered, Mike Flynn got injured. We literally filmed one series of action before the big guy went down. I wont tell you everything he said to the doctors, not just because of the privacy issues, but because they were laced with some not so sweet words, but Flynn was headed to the locker room. And that’s when things really got going. I’ll try to describe the scene at old Candlestick, now Monster Park. Apparently fans have access to the field. Not all fans, but a certain section sitting near the entrance to the Ravens locker room appeared to be allowed to use the restroom located on field level behind the bleachers. Remember, this stadium was built for baseball so the configuration is a little confusing.

As Dr. Leigh Ann Curl led Flynn off the field, Jeff, Lauryn and I continued to film. When we arrived at the tunnel entrance an unidentified fan heading to the bathroom made his way in front of Flynn, and get this, put his hand up and told Mike to wait a second so he could pass. The look on Flynn’s face was priceless. As he would later tell us on the plane, he was in his own world at that point and if he was more of a hot head, he might have gotten physical. A punch to the mid-section would have been fine by me. I’m sure it hurts, just ask my friend Parker who not only works on the animated comedy American Dad, but was written into the show last week, only to be punched below the belt by some sort of alien who talks like Brian from The Family Guy.














As I alluded to, Flynn and the rest of his teammates were able to watch highlights of the game as we flew back East since Lauryn brought enough equipment to edit the show on the plane. Flynn watched the replay of his injury and the fan incident, which we shared with teammates making their way down the aisle. Chris McAlister took a listen, as did Ed Reed, who offered up some production tips for my Manager of Broadcasting. Does he know about the Emmy’s? He did agree to be wired for Yoga, yes, Yoga, later this week. Of course it was two in the morning at that point so we’ll see if he remembers. At 35,000 feet, it sounded like a good idea. But as this weekend proved, up close is when you really reach great heights.

Quarterly Review: Don’t Miss TV

I’m pretty sure I’ve used the Bueller quote in this forum before, the one about taking a minute to smell the roses, but Matthew Broderick’s mantra has stood the test of time, or at least the last 20 years, and once again proves to be a valuable pop culture reference in the sports blogoshpere. (Can you believe it’s been 21 years since we saved Ferris?) In any case, whether it’s your senior year of high school or the start of the NFL season, it’s important that we heed his advice and take a moment to stop and look around. And after four games and a full month of football, here are ten things I think you may have missed:

1) A Baltimore Ravens wide receiver has the second most receptions of anyone in the league. Derrick Mason has amassed 33 receptions over the first quarter of competition, tying him with Antonio Gates for second place behind the Bengals T.J. Houshmandzadeh (39).

2) A Baltimore Ravens running back ranks in the top ten in the league in rushing yards. Willis McGahee sits in seventh place thus far this season with 375 yards, ironically just 5 yards ahead of our former feathered friend, Jamal Lewis (8th, 371).

3) The Office is back with four straight weeks of one-hour episodes, staring with last week’s “Fun Run”. Despite the brilliant writing and Emmy award winning acting, I have to say that one of the best aspects of the show is the swag it produces. Less than a week after Dwight debuted his new duds, you can now pick from 52 different “Schrute Farms Beets” products for your own Rabies Run.

4) Brett Favre is 37. Tony Romo is 27. And age doesn’t mean a thing as both are tearing up the National Conference. Considering the fact that the two teams that made it to the NFC Championship game last year are a combined 1-6, it’s a good bet that these gunslingers will have a showdown next January. (Okay, I know this one isn’t a secret since Chris Berman declared that “Rooting for Brett Favre is like rooting for America” and the Cowboys are America’s Team, but they are dominating their divisions at this point, which makes it pointless to talk about most of the other teams on that side of the ledger.)

6) .Devin Hester has already returned TWO kicks for a touchdown. Maybe teams took Spygate to heart and threw out ALL their tapes, but how does anyone kick to this guy?

7) Donovan McNabb is a big fan of Ryan Howard. Besides the fact that an unidentified man showed up at an Eagles game wearing a Ryan Howard Eagles jersey (it said R.Howard #6) the success of the new Sultan of South Philly has taken the heat off D-Nabb for at least a week or two. The same cant be said for the Broncos, as the regular season finale for the Rockies on Sunday attracted just one quarter of the audience garnered by the Colts-Broncos game, which Denver lost to fall to 2-2.

8) Prison Break is back for its third season (yes, somehow they were able to make it to a third year despite the premise of the show pretty much running its course in season 1). Surprisingly, Scofield and Co. have picked up some steam in the first two episodes, however, not as surprisingly is the fact that it took a return to prison to provide the drama.

9A) Fantasy Footballers are depressed. Larry Johnson and Stephen Jackson have combined for 0 rushing touchdowns (Sammy Morris has 3!). Drew Brees and Marc Bulger have combined to throw 3 touchdowns (Derek Anderson has 9!). Laurence Maroney has 0 catches. Reggie Bush has rushed for 80 yards TOTAL, tying him for 52nd in that category with Jason Campbell of the Redskins, yes, their quarterback. Sorry if I sound bitter, BushMaroney’07 may need some new names on the ticket real soon.

9B) Fantasy Footballers are delighted. Kevin Curtis put up 200 yards against the Lions. Wes Welker is on pace for more than 90 receptions. Jon Kitna is going to throw for 4,000 yards. Tom Brady has hit Randy Moss for 7 touchdowns – I think Chad Johnson should have handed that HOF jacket over to Moss on Monday night, it seems like he’ll actually need it. The Giants Defense recorded 12 sacks against the Eagles. And how about Duante Culpepper pulling a Tim Tebow and rushing for 3 touchdowns, while throwing for 2 more on just 12 passes in a Raider victory at Miami.

10) The Ravens are 2-2. Not 1-3. Not 0-4. And yes, if you want to be inclusive, we’re not 3-1 or 4-0 either. But only three teams in the entire AFC have 3 wins or more, and the Ravens have a better record than both the Chargers and Bengals right now. The point is that four games does not a season make and if fans stay focused on the final record or the looming triple header following Thanksgiving, you might miss some really good football in between. Or at least some really good television from Scranton and coming soon, from Utica, NY. Either way, there’s some must see TV coming this fall, don’t miss it.